I’ve taken the UK’s weather to Australia with me

I’m starting to settle in, but jet lag is a bitch and has resulted in some peculiar activity. I am not one to nap, It makes me feel like I’m back at uni waking up confused, groggy and slightly violated. Yet on my second day I had a 3 hour nap, and last night I went to sleep at 8:30, waking up at the ripe time of 3:30am. Needless to say, it’s going to be hard graft staying awake tonight and I’m not looking forward to bullying my body into the sleep pattern of a normal human being.

ANYWHO. Enough about my sleep cycles. Some of you on Facebook may have seen that I went to a lovely place called Coolangatta on Thursday, and you’ll be pleased to know I represented the UK by wearing a t-shirt and shades in 19 degree weather, while the locals were wrapped up in hoodies. I couldn’t have looked more like an English tourist if I had hung a St George’s flag towel over the rail and cracked open a Carling with my shirt off.

There were some cracking views at Coolangatta and I’m told that Snapper Rocks is where they hold some major surfing championships, I even got a great view of¬†some of the wave wankers in action as 10ft bastards¬†crashed into them. Crazy Aussies, God love ’em. At the same viewpoint is the border split between Queensland and New South Wales. I did another touristy thing and had my picture taken with one foot in each state because that’s the kind of mental stuff I do.

Anyways, since then the weather has been England-levels of shit. Just rain all day today, hence why I’m sitting in playing rounds of hide and seek with my three-year-old niece and gaining empathy for parents everywhere as I try to trick a toddler into eating their breakfast bite by bite. She’s lucky she’s adorable.

While Tilly had her nap, I decided to continue planning my trip across Australia in November (TBC). I’ve got some major stops planned in Byron Bay, Sydney, Nimmitabel, Melbourne, Cairns and Brisbane, with some minor stopovers in Lismore, ¬†Coffs Harbour, Lorne, Port Cambell and Gold Coast. Although I’m very aware all of these plans could be torn apart, which is one of the beauties of travelling, but it’s good to have a general outline.

I’ve decided¬†the best way¬†to go about it is to drive down as far as Melbourne in an old banger, sell it for scrap when I get there and take a plane to Cairns, plane to Brisbane and then bus it back to Pottsville through the Gold Coast. The whole trip should take about 30 days and cover around 2500km in the car. Again, this could all change, but I love the fact that it’s pretty ambitious, covers everything I want to do (including time to scuba, sky dive and bungee) and offers a lot of opportunity for things to go wrong.

I am hoping that things go a bit wrong here and there, that’s the point of travelling right? And for anyone snarky who thinks I’m cheating by taking domestic flights, then look at the picture man. This is not a country, this is a God damn ass bitch continent. If I want to trade a 32 hour drive for a 3 hour flight here and there then I’m gonna do it (plus it only costs like $100 to travel 3000 km so really I’m living up to being a cheap-ass backpacker).

The only things I’m really missing from this trip that I really want to do are Ayers Rock, Fraser Island and Tasmania, but I think all of these deserve a trip each to themselves.¬†I’m rambling, I know. Think of this as one of the many blog posts where I’ll be thinking out loud and trying to make sense of it all to keep me sane. Besides, I’ve already been up for like 15 hours so give me a break.

I start work next week and have to take my RSA so that the Australian government can fine me and everybody I love if I serve someone booze who is already inebriated, but it means I can work behind a bar anywhere in NSW which is awesome. All for $160- bargain. While I focus on that I’ll try and keep these posts relatively consistent (and hopefully much shorter).

G’day ya pommy pricks.


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