Hospitality be like…

There will be proper travelling updates soon I promise! Basically I’m trying to save some last bits of money before I go away in November, so I’ve been working a lot more and doing a lot less fun shit then I would like.

Good news is I’ve been productive and have written another 5,000 words of my fantasy novel, so that’s a big positive! I’m also doing my first open water scubadive on Wednesday so I will update on that this week, but to fill in the lull I wanted to give my English friends an idea of what it’s been like working in retail and hospitality in Australia.

Don’t get me wrong, I love it and I love my job, but sometimes my brain is thinking very different things to what comes out of my mouth…


*After taking payment*

CUSTOMER: Oh I have a discount card, can I still use it?

MY BRAIN: Can you put a condom on now to prevent the pregnancy of your 6 year old?


*Buying cheap wine*

CUSTOMER: What would you recommend?

ME: What sort of price range are you looking at?

CUSTOMER: Around $10

MY BRAIN: A change in lifestyle.


Buying 4x Gold when we have two fridges of craft ale…

MY BRAIN:

you_are_tacky


When it’s too busy to stay cheery…

CUSTOMER: Hey, can you just help us with-

MY BRAIN:

leslie-knope-no


CUSTOMER: This is expensive.

MY BRAIN:

clutteredlimitedarchaeocete

What it feels like when you come over to help when it’s busy…

…then what I do when I get home…

austin


When it’s busy and you drop a glass…

whenishoutthewronganswerinclass_ff1747_4001054


Customers when you go to take their glass, but they’ve got half a sip left…

mmo3_f-maxage-0


How I think people see me when they find out I’m English…

…how they actually see me…

Rowan Atkinson Photocall

Thank you for humouring me and putting up with me while I get shit sorted. Pretty soon I’ll be posting every day throughout November and will be doing a lot of really cool shit with plenty of photos of beautiful places, interesting people and awesome adventures!

Thanks for reading!

This ain’t a love song, this is goodbye.

IG: malzjames

SC: jamesinaus

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