Aussie Road Trip Prologue: Melbourne Cup Day

G’day ya filthy bogans.

The time is upon us. The roadtrip is soon to commence and I will depart on the first leg of my journey down the east coast of Australia. My bags are packed, my plan is loosely outlined in a Word document with some nifty highlights and my checklist is about to be ticked off.

I feel organised, but at the same time completely ready to be swept away by the wind and dumped on a tribal island where they eat good-looking English men. “They’ll leave you alone then,” I hear you thinking. How very rude.

The weather looks absolutely average today. There is a thick wash of white cloud slathered across the sky, but with no atmosphere whatsoever. No rain, no wind, just stillness and a bit of muggy heat. Alas, this is not a day for the beach. Although I will be in Byron Bay in a mere 4 hours, there will be little beach-dwelling or sunbathing, as today is Melbourne Cup Day.

For my English friends, this is the equivalent of the Grand National, except it’s more expensive, there are fewer horses and it’s a much bigger deal. We share many a similarity with our Australian cousins though, as you will still see Irish midgets, PETA and vegetarians waiting for the first fall so they can tweet about animal cruelty, and pictures of your hairdresser in a stupid hat with a glass of prosecco on Facebook .

 As some of you may or may not know, I have a rather unhealthy healthy relationship with gambling, so I enjoyed a cheeky flutter on 3 horses (who shall not be named). Now, as I’m told gambling is meant to be fun, I have departed with my $30 with the mindset that I will not get it back so that I can enjoy my day regardless…

…Twitch…

…Twitch…

…butifnoneofmyhorseswinthenimgoingtospendmyremainingcashonamacheteabalaclavaandagluemakingcourse.

Kidding. All life is sacred yada yada yada.

ANYWAY.

With less than a few hours to go before I get in the car and bang out the tunes, I wanted to give you a quick farewell before I get hopelessly drunk in a strange town with people I don’t know. If I end up in an ice bath with one less kidney…well then it really won’t make much of a difference to where I’m at now.

I’m excited, ready for the adventure and positively buzzing!

Thanks for reading, and get ready for a blog post every ruddy day, you beautiful blue bottle buggers.

Goodbye everybody, I’ve got to go. Gotta leave you all behind and faaaaaace the truuuth.

SC: jamesinaus

IG: malzjames

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